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71
Bloodclan / Re: You know what? Let's get this party started!}} open
« Last post by morpheus on November 14, 2012, 09:36:35 pm »
Rockinghorse sat in her den comfortably, licking clean a single white paw that had been stained by yellow marigold.  It was nothing to be annoyed at, but she enjoyed the respite between treating wounds where she could simply clear off the grime.  With her bobbed tail curled near her shortened legs, she looked almost like a children's toy.
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Rockinghorse poked her splattered head from the medicine cat's den, a small smile playing about her muzzle.  "I'd love to hunt," the chocolate-and-white female purred, stepping from the den to reveal her stubby legs.  Being a munchkin was interesting, to say the least.  "Where would you like to go?"
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Mana bounded the camp in cheerless crave to fill the fresh kill pile. He was tired of it being sickeningly concise, and he knew the others honestly did not care just since they got their food. He pranced around his thick Coon pelt drifting in waves through the compact fall's air. His Icy eyes glared around squinting to see if anyone would be willing. He noted most were lazing off doing reports or training. The bulky male called with his expansive voice of affiliated boerdum "Anyone up for a hunting party?" He fatuously stared to wait for one acknowledging cat to join in with him. We need a more active clan this is a sickening  sight. He spat in his mind very aggervated of the situation of his clan.
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Welcoming Center / Re: HELLO MUSTACHIAN EMPIRE
« Last post by morpheus on November 14, 2012, 08:41:03 pm »
hello guys xD Italy and kat, if you don't mind my calling you that!  welcome to the site c:
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Welcoming Center / Re: HELLO MUSTACHIAN EMPIRE
« Last post by kitkat6856 on November 14, 2012, 07:52:33 pm »
Speak of the devil Soulie! Yo its kat whazz up. :p
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Welcoming Center / Re: HELLO MUSTACHIAN EMPIRE
« Last post by ✯ 2ρ-̅̅ˏ̅̅Iˎ̅̅тαℓу on November 14, 2012, 07:46:50 pm »
I feel so akward for joining this conversation. X3 Well hey. I might be getting a few of my other friends from typing class to join I asked my friend Ericka, Brandi, and Ben. and a few others. The names I randomly listed are the three who said they wanted to join plus my bestie Kat. So you might be getting a few more members my friends. c:
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~Bump~ Let's see if I wasn't a derpyness of a person today. c:
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Spoiler (hover to show)

there are a few misplaced commas in appearance and personality.  also, you have a lot of long sentences, which you can and should break up with commas.

bump this once you're done editing c:
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Name :: Mana.
 

Alliance :: Bloodclan.
 

Gender :: Male.
 

Age :: 24 Moons old. {2 Year's old.}
 

Rank :: Regular warrior.
 

Appearance :: His fur is a creamy brownish hue with a soft whitened under belly and an elegant white on his paws. Also, a large blotch of black on his back, and tip of his fluffy tail. His eyes are a majestic crescents blue with a gentle lightened flare to them. He has very short, and symmetrical whiskers that fit evenly on each side of his facial figure. His fur is long and soft with a light drag to it with bouncy hedges. His tail is long and fluffy with a light bounce to its flair. His claws are neat, and short with a soft pearly white to their color. He is a large Maine coon male with a muscularity to his bodily figure.
 

Personality :: Very quiet, and calm personality with patience of a gentle noted bird. He is a very kind tom with thousands of reasons to be thankful for his clan. He is always very helpful, and kind towards others even when they spit back venomous retorts he will simply brush them off. But whoever said he would take an insult? He would burn you back just as hard with a quirky catish grin on his lips as he prances away. He can be very sarcastic sometimes mostly when he is very agitated which is a large rarity of his. He is not known to get angry or violent easy, but even the kindest cat can get their whiskers toyed with too much and blow up all over you for it.
 

Likes :: Long daytime lounges, seeping in bitter winter climate, hunting on breezy evenings.
 

Dislikes :: Odor of fish, scampering, Jumping.
 

Strengths ::  Stalking, energy, masterful bravery.
 

Weaknesses :: Running, jumping, hiding.
 

History :: His life story was very vague well to him anyway it was of hateful bitterness he keeps to himself. His parents were a forbidden love. His mother a beautiful Coon cat with silver eyes, and a large golden pelt with flickering of tannish brown spots she was slim, kind, and mostly trustworthy. His father was a large Male Coon with dazzling emerald eyes a thick brownish black pelt with golden jottings on his legs, and head. He was a cheater, a scam at life, a seducer, and a killer. His father had tricked his mother many moons ago to leave the border of Thunderclan, and to cross into his territory of shadow clan where he introduced catnip to her. Then the next thing his mother knew everything faded to black next thing to his poor mother she was left in Shadowclan finally one day she escaped where she was asleep on her clan border after two moons of missing heavy with kits. His other siblings no longer existed they all died of a rare birth disease he does not know of he was the only survivor, and his mother had despised him once he was born. The next thing he knew when he was old enough to talk and wrestle with other kits his mother had dragged him from his Thunderclan home, and ran through the steepest forest through the cities, and to a sandy clan known as Bloodclan. He was deserted at their border mewling in agony of his unknown loss. Finally, after he was picked up from the border living off Bloodclan for survival the young tom became an apprentice quickly. He remembered his first day out for a hunt, a chilly winter morning silent whispers of birds, and gawking squirrels. He had been the only successful hunter of the group of winter hunters shooting up three different trees just to catch the one fat squirrel. His training was successful and very brutal he survived it, and was made an expertise in battle for it. He now lives his days as a calm Bloodclanner even if they are bloodthirsty known cats not all are violent every part of their lives so his story is never to judge him by his scary looks or be deceived by his calm actions he is a tom you will never understand and never will.
Other? ::  Alrighty let's see if I did any better went through three grammar, and punctuation checkers. Lets hope I fixed what ever issues I had.
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